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“Anal Play 102: Preparation, Physical and Mental” – Robin Ardeur

Okay, so you’ve made it this far. Your most pressing questions have been answered and you’re pretty sure that you’re not a deviant, destined for a life of incontinence or in for a world of pain.

Before you get started exploring, by yourself or with a friend lover or companion, there’s some preparation to be done. First of all, you’ll want to be sqeaky clean inside and out – for your comfort and/or your partner’s. You’ll also want to be physically relaxed and open to the fun to come.



(unless you’re into WAM play, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog entry)

a. Eat healthfully. A diet high in fiber and low in greasy, processed foods will keep things moving.

b. When showering, pay special attention to yourself down there, gently probing your opening with a soapy finger and rinsing thoroughly.

If you’re not planning on going very deep, and if you feel nice and empty, you can stop here. If you’d like a little more assurance, however…

c. Douching: either pick up a reusable anal douche, like this one from Babeland, or simply buy a Fleet enema from any drugstore. When using a Fleet, pour out the saline solution that comes with it, as it can be a harsh laxative, and fill it with lukewarm to warm tap or bottled water.

After lubing up the nozzle, inserting and emptying the douche, hold it in until the pressure necessitates letting go. You may wish to repeat once or twice until the water you’re releasing runs clear. This should be done at least an hour before play, to allow time for all the water to release.

d. Using an enema bag: If you’re planning on engaging in depth play or fisting, using an enema bag before play is a good idea. Similar to douching, but you’ll use more water to travel further up your colon.

Moderation is key here: doing enemas too often, or with too high a volume of liquid (e.i. gallons) will deplete you of vital electrolytes. Use your common sense!

Side note: some people find douching or enema play pleasurable. If you do, enjoy the fun! This is something I particularly enjoy playing with during longer sessions.


II: Relaxation Techniques

Your sphincter’s natural state is to be closed, so it can feel pretty funny to start opening it up for the first few times, even when starting slow and using plenty of lube. It can be tempting to try to block that out completely in unsafe ways, but there are more effective and better feeling ways to go about it.

I DON’T suggest relaxing by:

Intoxication – Using drugs (including alcohol or poppers) to get over your jitters or to physically relax your muscles is a bad idea. Anything that can impair your judgement makes sex risky and injury more likely.

Numbing lube – You want to feel what’s happening – that’s the whole point! Without being able to feel every sensation, your body will have no way of warning you to slow down or stop, if necessary. (There is a lube with Jojoba extract made by Pjur that I like, however, which helps physically relax your opening without dulling any feeling).

I DO suggest:

Romancing yourself – I know this sounds like something out of Cosmo, but I’m serious. Put on some relaxing music, take a bath with essential oils like lavender or chamomile, light candles… treat your anal exploration like the sexy ritual that it is.

BREATHING! – Take deep, full breaths and let yourself sink into relaxation. Feel your body’s muscles from your toes to your temples, release your stress with each breath. Continue this practice during play, enjoying the enhanced presence and pleasure that it brings.

Using lots of Lube – I can’t say this enough. If you ignore everything else I’ve told you, at least use lube!

Finding an experienced, trustworthy companion, lover or friend to explore with. Let them drive the experience and guide you into relaxed bliss – or depraved delights.


Next week, I’ll go into the different types of lubes and toys out there, as well as making a few suggestions about which one(s) to pick up, depending on your preferences and desires.

To read more on Robin Ardeur‘s musings, check out her blog!

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